What's "free"?

How do you define success? Everyone’s definition is different. For some it looks like money, for some happiness and fulfillment, for some its accomplishments and assets acquired (like kids, homes, cars, etc.). 

Personally, I have gone through quite a bit to figure out my definition. 

I found myself on the wrong end of destination addiction: the belief that happiness is at the other end of the next person, place, thing, or stage in life. When I was younger, I couldn’t freaking wait to get out of grade school so I could get a job to buy a car and date, and do the things that “adults” do. When I became of age, I couldn’t wait to finish college so that I could start my life as a doctor (lmao) and have my own decent income. Well once I graduated as a not-doctor, I couldn’t wait to find a career. It took me 3 years post-graduation to get into my career, and I had to wait an entire 7 years to make enough money to move out of my parents’ home in horrible South Florida. I didn’t go away to college, so I have been itching since I was 18 to experience life on my own. 

I was hit with the reality that there is no end to my desires, because I have been conditioned to eradicate any cap on my expectations and aspirations in life. This is not a bad quality to have. You are allowed to want more out of life; you should never settle or feel like there is more out there that you’re not experiencing. The issue arises when it becomes unhealthy. Mine was unhealthy. I was literally unhappy until the next big thing, and I would be content for just a moment, and then long for something bigger, better. When would that leave room to be satisfied? 

I define success as wherever you find comfort and/or desire. If you are trying to figure out what that is like for you, let me give you my example. I will know I have found success by being happy, being healthy (taking care of my mind and body) and being stable (emotionally and financially). If each of those are in alignment, I will have found success. I am placing a nominal value on my bottom-line yearly income so that I will know that anything else after that is added bonus, but when I hit my desired number, I know that I am comfortable. I am obviously still working on the last of that list, but I am close enough to consider myself successful already. So, where is your comfort and desire? Does it lie in the passion behind your work? Is it when you hit six-figures? Attaining a certain lifestyle? Is it when you’ve found companionship? Becoming a parent? Gaining independence? Becoming famous? Acquiring certain assets? A set of accomplishments? Going 1.5 years without working out at all and maintaining your max box squat at 315 lbs?

Everyone’s is different.

I had actually gotten to a certain point where I didn’t care what I did for a living, as long as it generated money that gave me the stability and independence that I craved. I am thankful that I ended up in a profession that makes me happy and fulfilled; one that I don’t hate, AND it generates decent money.

I’ll let you in on a secret: if your happiness is tied exclusively to money, it’s likely that no amount will make you “happy”. There is always more money to be attained. Find out what it would take for you to generate happiness in all areas of your life because you’ll find that you acquire the money and are still unfulfilled. Seek peace and stability… can’t enjoy money or anything else without either!