An Apology You Won't Get From Omarion...

It happened. After almost 2 years of a successful game of dodgevirus, it happened. About one week before Christmas, I contracted Covid-19, likely the Omicron variant.

I found out on Monday (12/20/21), which means I likely contracted it sometime the week before or over the weekend. Being a content creator, open book, and certified R.A.N., I knew at some point that I needed to address this. I don’t know if that was my angst about it or if I was being too nonchalant, but I just hadn’t felt that I had any compelling revelation to share about it. 

Until now.

Today is Christmas Eve’s eve. I am sitting out by my pool, reflecting on the last several days, unable to move freely throughout my home or mind.   

So, **freeze frame***record scratch*** -“You’re probably wondering how I got here…”

I am starting from the top because I don’t know when or where my exposure took place. The beginning of my week (the week before my diagnosis) was rather uneventful. I worked and went to the gym on Monday and Tuesday. I never work out on Wednesdays, and skipped out Thursday and Friday because I had plans after work.

My first, tiny “symptom” could have possibly been said to appear on Thursday, the week before my diagnosis. I happened to have taken a rapid test for a meeting with my corporation’s executives (they make us prove we are “clean” before we can sit in their fancy suite), and I got a negative result. For the rest of the day afterward, I felt a slight discomfort in the back of my throat that prompted me to think that maybe I got a little extra friendly with my swabbing a few hours prior. It almost felt like a dry, dusty feeling behind my sinuses, almost like I took Mucinex and had dried myself out, almost like I had squeegeed it with a nasopharyngeal foam swab head. I thought nothing of it, because if I was experiencing symptoms, theoretically it was prime time to have shown a positive on my rapid test. 

I met up for Pho that evening with some coworkers for a farewell to one of my team members who was moving on to greener pastures. The following day, I “worked from home”, a.k.a. I took mom to an appointment (which that whole event had its own issues), and mom mentioned how frequently I had been clearing my throat. By then, it was in full blown irritation, which was not uncommon for me with my occasional allergy outbreak. I knew exactly what I was experiencing: a mean postnasal drip. While out running errands while I waited for mom to finish, I got some messages in my cousin group chat regarding plans for a white elephant gift exchange dinner we were planning for Saturday: one cousin had come down with Covid, two others were exposed. We had to cancel our holiday plans and made proposals to commence in January. My two sisters and I decided to meet up and do something small for a long overdue sister date Saturday instead. 

In the meantime, Ney and I met up for a small Christmas dinner on Friday night at our trainer Shannon’s apartment with another girl and a guy that we typically hang with. We schedule our work out sessions during the week together, and usually all gather outside the gym 1-2x/month. 

We all just sat around not doing much, played a few games together, drank a little wine and coquito, played with her doggies, and were all home and settled before midnight, just how I like it! I noticed that by the time I got showered and into bed, I was extremely uncomfortable. Knowing I had a negative rapid test the day before and had been presumably nasal dripping since then, I just KNEW the unusual animal activity and stimulation had sent my body over the edge. My night was awful; I slept a whopping total of 4 hours and by the time I woke up, I was miserable with a burning throat and windpipe and a headache. It reminded my of when I went to urgent care the day my mom was admitted into the hospital with sepsis back in 2020; I experienced hoarseness and a crazy postnasal drip that felt almost like sandpaper and strep, and was prescribed a steroid for my newly developed, postnasal dripped laryngitis. 

Waking up after 0900 is hit or miss for me and can cause me a headache for some reason (maybe I am old), plus not having caffeine in my system by that time is also a recipe for a headache, not to mention my restlessness from overnight. Again, thought nothing of any of it. I just knew I needed to take some Claritin! I took some, along with an Excedrin, my usual turmeric capsules that soften my seasonal allergies, and my other immune boosting supplements (Echinacea, Elderberry, Vit C). 

I had become fatigued and took a nap for a couple hours. But when I woke up, my skin had some sensitivity for about an hour, so I took my temperature: 97.8… totally normal. The skin went to normal quickly after, and I prepared for my sister date. I knew that was weird, but because it didn’t last long enough to be alarmed, I resumed my life. I figured it was because I had just woken up from a nap. Plus, I had gotten a negative antigen result a couple days before! 

I had gotten word by Sunday that several people at my gym tested positive, including one of the coaches from a class we all took earlier in the week. I hadn’t really been in any closer contact with him than anyone else I was hanging around had been, so again, I felt safe. It was then that I decided I would test Monday, because why not? It would give me peace of mind if nothing else… perks of working in a Covid/molecular lab.

The only symptoms on Sunday I experienced was an occasional cough attack from the persistent tickle from my drippy nasal passage. It was all too much. By Monday, I felt pretty okay, thinking my allergy meds were finally kicking in.

I tested myself Monday around noon when I had someone there to swab me and my preliminary test came back positive, without question. I swabbed again and got kicked out of the lab to wait for my PCR. I sat in my car trying to digest what I had just learned and eventually made a few sobby phone calls to Shannon and a couple others as I sat in a Publix parking lot. I was too scared and mortified to go face the people in my home. First moment since I was a teenager that I wanted to simply drive away until my car ran out of gas (which would ultimately only land me around Jacksonville, but still).

What I have learned:

·       My faith in rapid (antigen) tests has lessened even more. They can be accurate, but they can also be SO not. They are entirely too temperamental; detection is in a very specific window, and even in that window it is not guaranteed. And even when you get a positive result, there’s no guarantee that it detected Covid-19; it could reflect SARS, Covid, common cold, or any of the other coronavirae. It’s a waste of plastics, if you ask me. Always trust a PCR, as it is the gold standard, and always take it at first sign of discomfort.

·       Trust my gut—I took a workout class in a small room with several randoms that had little ventilation, when typically I only take it when they had it outside, or I would take another class altogether that had more space and solitude. I don’t know when or where I was exposed; it could have been anywhere between the workouts earlier in the week to going to dinner a few times at the end of the week, biting my cuticles and touching my face anywhere I go (stupid anxiety), or working at a covid lab.

·       I was not prepared for this variant; I heard on the news that it was in Cali, then a day or two later Miami, and immediately after it SLAMMED all of South Florida at the same exact time. I barely had time to cancel plans. The numbers had slowed so much that I let my guard down; I had been going more places, wasn’t as diligent and OCD about washing and sanitizing my hands for no reason, wearing a mask in certain settings, just generally laying low and being on guard.

·       I believe my Moderna and booster helped me tremendously. I was “sick” for about a whopping 4-5 days, and symptomatic for only 3. By the following Thursday, a sista was PCR negative. My 2nd dose of the vaccine actually caused me to feel worse than the actual virus… science bitch!

Its all just odd that I had been as exposed, and mostly to the same people, as Ney had, yet she was negative. As a matter of fact, I had tested rapid negative Thursday, my trainer Shannon had tested PCR and rapid negative the same day, Wednesday (and currently), the guy Imwe were with on Friday tested PCR and rapid negative, and the girl tested rapid negative after symptoms began showing up for her on Saturday. I felt confused, like my life was a lie; I had no clue when or where this issue began. Hell, I could have theoretically exposed them! Not only was my positive result positive, but it was also TEXTBOOK positive, like someone held me down and spit in my mouth positive, according to my graphs.

I said all that to say this: by the time I was getting swabbed for PCR, I had begun to think about all the people I potentially exposed, and all the people that those people potentially exposed, because of me. Like my work BFF who I had spoken to in my office for an hour or so on Monday before he swabbed me, or my sister who successfully dodged a dinner full of potentially sick cousins but not her sick sister, possibly my eyebrow girl who I went to on Wednesday (if I contracted Covid during my gym sessions days before), or the gang of coworkers that I ate crab legs with for a Christmas luncheon right before my visit with her. I thought about my mom, my dad, my old coworkers I met at Nine Five Pho. 

This post is an apology to all the people I may have exposed, though it was unintentional. I pride myself on not leaving my house much (ask all the people I turn down to hang out with on almost a daily basis), trying to be careful and having gotten vaccinated while wearing my mask as often as I can, in attempts to do the right thing. It simply wasn’t good enough, and my life in hindsight feels a little reckless despite those things. Everyone (except my judgy family who swears up and down I have a life) who found out literally told me, “Man, but you have always been so careful…” because they knew…

Not good enough. It could have cost me the health of my family, which is a price I cannot afford. 

So don’t invite me out anymore. Going nowhere for another two years. Never again bish. See yall in 2048.