The Rage of a Thousand Angry Birds

When I PMS, it ain’t pretty. If any ladies are reading his and share my sentiments, then you know how important management of this condition is. I can go from being completely “normal”, to being insanely hangry, to uncontrollable sobbing at a Publix commercial, to wanting to evenly distribute a two-piece and a biscuit to anyone within 10 ft of me. 

I found over the last few years that I had been having hormonal issues surrounding my thyroid, so I am sure that contributes greatly, but in general we women get about one sane week out of every month. We genuinely can’t control it in most cases, so keep that in mind. 

Either way, here are a few ways I found to be successful in managing my PMS that may help you or anyone you know with a uterus:

·     Meditate, pray, woo-sah, kumbaya; do whatever you can to calm your mind. I find that when I am PMSing, everything that could ever or has ever gone wrong in my life surfaces and I feel like I am being crushed. Or sometimes I need to quiet my mind because I am so filled with inexplicable rage, and I cant afford to lose my job or tarnish my cookie cutter record by going to jail.

·     Join Kanye’s workout plan. Or ANY workout plan. I have two moods when I am dealing with my period at the gym. I am either writhing in pain, feeling like I weigh 650 lbs, or I feel like I am the offspring of a lion and a gazelle. I wake up in actual beast mode on my cycle some days and by the time I get to the gym, I am outrunning everyone, lifting heavier than everyone, and have the energy of a bunny. Usually when I am feeling the latter, my confidence is on 100,000 trillion. 

·     Don’t indulge too much in the sweets and desserts. You’ll regret it later. 

·     Cry. A lot. Get that crap out of your body. Any negativity, worry, sadness you have building up is just going to add to your bloat. Expel every bad thing you possibly can, always. Lie down, but don’t stay down.

·     Get lots of rest. I don’t have a choice during certain days in my cycle. I just nap in all the places, against my own free will. But the more rest you get, the less energy you’ll spend being cranky or whiney. At least that’s one way to look at it. Also, drink your water. I don’t, but you should.

·     Last but certainly not least, get dressed up at least once or twice and explore things outside of your living room. The act of at least thinking I look pretty makes me feel pretty, which boosts my mood and confidence.

PreMENstrual syndrome is bad enough, so fellas please stop making it worse by calling us crazy. Kthanksbye.