32 Reasons

I knew when I turned 30 that things were about to get crazy questionable. I have been challenged by “milestones” in these last two years in ways I hadn’t thought would happen this early. 

I struggled with health issues like my fluctuating weight, cholesterol (which couldn’t necessarily be totally corrected through dietary changes and consistent exercise), my uncontrollably heavy menstrual cycles, and my thyroid (which was probably inversely proportional to all of the above). My stamina to make it throughout the day without a nap had become called into question, I needed longer to recover from a day of drinking, no matter the time of day I began or finished, or just being out in the elements too long or too late. Hell, some days I wake up hungover after a wild, yet sober night on the couch watching Netflix with mom. 

My mental health was also challenged. I hit an all-time low, which sent my anxiety through the roof to an all time high, and had me questioning the purpose of my life and whether or not things would ever work out in a way that I planned it to or needed it to go. I even developed what I like to call “peripheral anxiety”, where I have become an empath x46. I take on issues of those around me as though any of it should affect my life in the least.

October usually just puts me in a good mood. My birth month tends to remind me of one of two things:  how far I’ve come, or how far I have left to go. I can either become extremely thankful, or I can become extremely anxious and despondent. This year, I choose to be appreciative.

I am grateful, and I can think of at least 32 reasons why. I actually have more, but I won’t bore you with more than the bare basics. 

·      I have breath in my body. It’s easy to take that for granted because it’s not something most of us have to ever think about; it just kind of happens. But that’s just it—it happens, nonetheless. Thank you, Lord. 

·      I have a good job; I am more financially stable than I have been in my life. My support system is incredible. I want for nothing (except a family and to own a home, but I understand those take time). I am steadily working my way up to more and more. I just need a little more effort with my patience getting wherever it is I am headed.

·      I am with the no drama llama squad. No significant or unnecessary stress. This is huge, but it oftentimes goes hand in hand with the whole “unmarried and childless” thing.

There is more to life than those things, though. And the more time I spend with God and myself, the clearer that becomes to me. As I type this right now and think of my blessed and amazing life, I am moved to tears. 

Anyway, I said all that to say this: 

It’s my birthday. 

Bad bitch contest, I’m in first place.

(What? I had to reel it back in some kind of way!)